Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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