i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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