ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
