It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Sober January is a disaster.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
