He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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