Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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