My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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