I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I cut my penus on the lid.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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