You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize