i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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