he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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