is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
