i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
