I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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