So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
