Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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