He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
