I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
