are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
