thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize