Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I think I died a long time ago.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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