watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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