I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
