i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
