My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
