The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
