he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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