Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
