I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
