just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
