Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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