I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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