I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He? As in you personified your dick?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
