haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
