Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
