Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
