Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
