You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
