dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
