yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
