Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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