Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
