I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize