So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
how drunk are you?
Several
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
