No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
