the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
