he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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