it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
