Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
