oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
