its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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