Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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