We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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