I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My legs feel like baby dolphins
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
