Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
