Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
